The world

Today is Sunday. Normally I would stay at my bf house but today I miss my little dore so I decided to come home. Its good to be home. He always smile sweetly at me.  Fear that his mum will saw it so I dare not smile sweetly back as she will jealous and will not let me go near him. Even the toy I buy for him, his mother don't let him play and only let him play the one she buy. I am not gg to snatch dore from her. Isnt it good to have more people to dote your baby. I just don't understand and I bet she always go and complain to her dearest sister.

I am such a failure. Even my brother don't trust me. Everyone is on her side.

Maybe I should not even be born in this world.

This world is too cruel to me.

why

Why no one understand how I feel?

All I want is to play with dore. But I was stop by either my parent or his mother. Bro always says I no right to interfere. Am I part of the family? Or I am adopted? How come I feel so neglected. I love dore. I bet he feel the same cos he always love my company. But no one seems to see our love.

Even my dearest small fish.. I just want strait times newspapers from her. But she question me and ask me lots of questions. This is call family? Is this call trust? How come everything I learn seems so different.

Even my bro choose to believe his wife. We are sibling for 20 plus years. Yet he trust his wife more than me. And he never give me a chance to explain until I force him to listen to me. Even though he realised that it is not my fault and apologise. There is a scar in me. I cried so badly in the toilet, in the bathroom, in the bed at night and in my dreams. My eyes hurt badly.. My heart bleed badly..

All I can conclude is their love for me is no longer the same. Even though they claim its the same. I am not stupid nor dumb.